


Flangst - Fluff Prompts Turned Angsty

by thisiswherethefishlives



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: A little bit of everything, Angst, Blowjobs, Kid Fic, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Miscommunication, Missions Gone Wrong, NSFW, Pining, Torture, Tumblr Prompts, don't hate me, flangst, fluff prompts turned angsty, ooooooh pina coladas, pina coladas, with some fluff thrown in every once in a blue moon to spice it up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 05:14:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 16,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4167315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisiswherethefishlives/pseuds/thisiswherethefishlives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>Flangst | Taking a fluffy prompt and hurting the hearts of others by making it angsty.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>For those angst aficionados out there, here are my contributions to the fitzmack flangst madness that I participated in on <a href="http://thisiswherethefishlives.tumblr.com/">my Tumblr</a> along with <a href="http://fitzheartmack.tumblr.com/">fitzheartmack</a>. Enjoy the ache!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prompt: Dance lessons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [respoftw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/gifts).



It was supposed to be a nice night out, which is a rarity in itself, but it was a big deal. It’s really the first  _actual_  date that Fitz has been on, and the fact that Mack wants to learn how to dance with  _Fitz_? It kind of has the butterflies in his stomach going haywire.

It was supposed to be a nice night out, but then they got to the class. That’s when they met  _Gary_. _Gary_  is one of the most beautiful people that Fitz has ever seen. He’s almost as gorgeous as Mack, and that’s saying something.  _Gary_  is graceful, and  _Gary_  is unwilling to deal with Fitz’s clumsiness. _Gary_  has pushed Fitz to the corner to better demonstrate a move with Mack before leading him through a simple routine. It’s a sensual move that has Fitz fuming because he’ll never compare to fucking  _Gary_. Seriously. Fuck that guy.

Fitz keeps waiting for Mack to notice that he’s been pushed to the side, keeps waiting for Mack to come sweep him into his arms, keeps waiting for Mack to remember that this is  _their_ date… but Mack has his attention on  _Gary_ , on placing his arms just so, and keeping the tension in his shoulders just right, and he is hanging on  _Gary’s_  every word.

Fuck  _Gary_ , and fuck Mack, too.

The music starts back up and  _Gary_  leads Mack through the routine for a third time.

Fitz walks out.


	2. Prompt: Visiting a kennel to adopt a dog

Seven shelters. They have been to seven shelters today, and Fitz just needs to find her.Ever since Galleon escaped the Playground it’s been hell. Absolute hell, because Fitz had never  _wanted_ a dog until Skye found a wriggling pup on the side of the road. She had looked so sad, and had shied away from everyone’s touch… everyone’s touch but his.

“Excuse me, sir. Have you seen this dog? Her name is Galleon, and she’s a chocolate Newfoundland… about a year old…”

It’s hard to keep going when the man behind the counter is shaking his head with a grimace. Fitz can feel Mack’s hand tighten in his, and he’s so scared that they don’t know her. 

“I’m sorry, Son.If you would like to leave one of those fliers, I can call you if a dog of your girl’s description is brought in." 

The man looks so sad, so earnest that he’s unable to help, that Fitz can’t help but shoot him a tired smile. It’s not like it’s his fault.

Mack grabs one of the fliers before passing it over the counter.

"Please,  _please_  give us a call if you find her, or if you hear of a dog matching her description.”

The man nods resolutely, and that’s it. Fitz is turning on his heel before he can listen to another platitude. They are running out of time… most shelters would have difficulties adopting out a dog Galleon’s size, and he’s enough of a realist to know what that means. 

He pulls up the location of the next closest shelter as soon as he gets into the passenger seat.

They are going to find her, if it’s the last thing that he does, because Fitz had never wanted a dog… but he can’t imagine his life without her.


	3. Prompt: Massages

Ever since the temple, it’s always the same dream. 

He comes up behind Fitz, lays his hands upon his shoulders and revels in the way that Fitz just sinks back against him. Slowly, he works out the tension in his shoulders, smiling when Fitz starts groaning into it.

It feels good to be drawing those noises out of Fitz. It makes him feel powerful. Desired. Sexy. It’s everything.

But then he’s seeing red, and Fitz is gasping for air as his hands choke the life out of him. Mack’s out of control, taken over, and all he can do is watch and listen to the reedy, choked sounds of Fitz struggling against him. 

Until he’s not. Until he’s not doing anything, lying in a heap at Mack’s feet, and Mack wakes up sobbing to the feel of Fitz rubbing shaking hands up and down his back in comfort. They lie there together for what feels like hours, Fitz comforting him the only way that he knows how.

Ever since the temple, it’s always the same dream. 


	4. Prompt: Secret admirer

“Hey, Fitz, did you see this?”

His heart is beating in his throat, his palms are sweaty, and Fitz is ready to finally confess his feelings for Mack… through cookies.

Yes, yes, it’s a stupid idea, but Fitz has been leaving all kinds of cookies for Mack. His mother always said that a man’s heart was through his stomach… so he baked.

He’s baked chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, noel bars… if they exist, he’s made them.

That being said, the plate of cookies in Mack’s hands is nothing that Fitz was involved with. They are perfect - store bought, almost - beautiful sugar cookies iced in pink with delicate frosting details piped on top. It’s such a stark difference to the imperfect, homey cookies that he had packed up for Mack…

Of course, there’s a note too, that Mack only seems to see at that moment. Reading the note, Mack’s eyebrows crinkle before his lips pick up in a small smile.

“Huh, I guess I have a date this Saturday.”

Mouth dry, Fitz does all he can to stop gaping. It’s quite the effort.

“Oh?”

It’s horrible, but that’s all that will come out of his mouth at this point… one syllable, as his heart starts crumbling in his chest.

“Yeah. Apparently, Agent Clark has been my secret admirer all along… it actually explains all the cookies that I’ve been getting lately. After all that effort, it would be rude to say no, right, Turbo?”

It feels like a panic attack is coming on. It feels like the floor is slipping out from under him, and the walls are closing in, and it’s  _WRONG, WRONG, WRONG_  because those were his cookies before, and everything is ruined.

Fitz walks out of the garage without a word, pointedly avoiding Mack’s eyes as he hurries out. The faster he can get away from Mack, the faster he can lock the door to his room, the faster he can shut down. It’s a race now, to see if he’ll make it back to his room before the tears hit and the hysterical hiccups start up.

It’s a race that he’s desperate to win.

If he misses the hurt look on Mack’s face, well… he has a date this Saturday, so it’s all fine in the end.


	5. Prompt: Throwing a dinner party

“It’s not a bloody  _phase_ …”

Mack hears Fitz before he even opens the door, can hear the weary sigh that Fitz lets out as heunlocks the door and quietly lets himself in.

At this point, Mackdoesn’t have to guess at who’s on the phone. Ever since the dinner party thatthey had thrown for their families last weekend, it’s been the same phone call every day.

“No, it’s really not, I don’t- No! You don’t get to choose the life that I live, mum.”

There’s no waiver to Fitz’s voice. No stutter. If it weren’t for the way his hands are shaking at his sides, he would be the picture of fierce composure. Each word is sharp and heavy like a blade, and it cuts Mack to the core knowing that this is all because of him.

“No, mum. There’s nothing to be said at this point. You refuse to accept my choices, and I refuse to allow you to rob me of the  _best_  thing that has ever happened to me. Mack is my  _choice_ , and if you can’t accept that we are together - and that we are going to be together for as long as he’ll have me… then not having you in my life is my choice as well.”

Fitz hangs up the phone, turning to face Mack, and he looks wrecked and fierce all at once - eyes round and watery, lips drawn together tense and trembling… but his back is straight and his shoulders rigid. Everything in Mack hurts to see him this way because  _he_ did this to Fitz.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you ever, ever dare to apologize for her. It’s not your fault that she’s… that she’s unwilling to accept us. The way that she  _spoke_  to you last weekend… this is our home, Mack. No one speaks to you like that in our home - you are not a phase of mine, and you are not someone to be left behind for something easier. I love you, and I choose you. I will always choose you, so don’t you dare apologize.”

Wrapped in his arms, Fitz is dangerous and fierce and vulnerable all at once, and Mack has never loved him more.


	6. Prompt: Babysitting

“Hey, Turbo, would you want to babysit my sister’s kids with me next month when she comes to visit?”

The look of horror on Fitz’s face would be funny, if itweren’t for the fact that Mack had been looking at babysitting his nieces as asort of… test run. Yeah, they haven’t been dating long, but being with Fitz is the kind of thing that Mack can’t see himself ever giving up.

Of course, he had assumed that kids would be part of their future… and maybe that’s short-sighted, what with the lives that they lead, but it’s always been the dream. Happy marriage, white house with blue shutters, and azalea bushes in the front. Some kind of dog (a rescue, gotta be a rescue), and the standard 2.5 kids.

The American dream.

“I-I  _can’t_. I can barely take care of myself, Mack… why would anyone trust me with- with… um… I can’t be  _trusted_  with that.”

He sounds defeated. Exhausted. Terrified. It’s all flashing across his face, and on some level, Mack gets it. He understands that kids can be a handful, that it might be difficult for Fitz to deal with, but on another level, Mack thinks that it doesn’t have to be that hard.

“You wouldn’t be left alone with them, baby. It would be you and me, and it’s fun – I promise! I used to babysit the girls all the time. Nothing but tea parties, and Disney movies, and hair braiding.”

Stepping closer, Mack reaches out to pull Fitz in for a hug, but Fitz flinches away out of reach.

“You don’t understand. Children don’t like me, Mack. Never have. They think I’m…. they- I’m not whole anymore. I can’t find my words, and my h-hands shake, and I am  _broken_. I know how cruel children are. I grew up with it, and – and I  _can’t_. Please don’t ask me to do this. I can’t be around children.”

There are tears in Fitz’s eyes, and his hands are shaking the way they do when he’s overwhelmed, and Mack feels gutted. It wasn’t his intention to upset Fitz… he had just wanted to include Fitz in his life, wanted him to be more than just a  _boyfriend_. Mack had been so busy picturing the future that he had just assumed that Fitz would want the same things he does.

It’s just  _babysitting_ , but it feels like more.

Even as he reassures Fitz that it’s fine if he doesn’t want to babysit, it feels like he’s going to have to make a choice at some point. A choice between being with Fitz and having the family he’s always wanted.

It’s not something he’s looking forward to.


	7. Prompt: Shopping for a wedding cake

They haven’t been sitting at the bakery for long when the text comes.

Twenty minutes max, but stranger things have happened than Leo Fitz being late for an appointment. It’s a joke around S.H.I.E.L.D., how scatterbrained Fitz can be, but it’s all good-natured ribbing because Fitz  _always_  comes through when it’s important.

That’s probably why it’s such a shock when Mack checks his phone, only to find a text from Fitz saying that he’s not coming. No explanations, no apologies, just three words.

_I’m not coming._

Mack’s on autopilot as he dials Fitz’s number, doesn’t even realize that he’s holding his breath until Fitz answers the phone. Just hearing him on the line has the tension that was building in Mack’s chest loosening.  

“Fitz, are you okay? Is there a problem in the lab?” The line is quiet, but he can make out Fitz’s breathing on the other end. “Baby?”

He can hear Fitz heave a shuddering breath, and he knows that it’s something bad.

“I can’t do it, Mack. I- I thought I could, but I can’t go through with this wedding.” Fitz’s voice is thick, the way it gets when he’s on the verge of tears. “It’s just too much. First the registry, and now the bloody cake tasting, and… I don’t  _want_  this! I don’t! It’s too much, and I can’t have all these people  _watching_  me - watching  _us_. I don’t know half the people we invited and it’s too much!”

Listening to Fitz lay out reason after reason for not wanting to get married to him is probably the worst moment in Mack’s life. Worse than when he was possessed by the temple. Worse than when his dad left them just after his sixteenth birthday.

Simmons and Bobbi are sitting opposite him, and from the pained but knowing look on Simmons’ face it’s clear that she expected this. Bobbi starts to stand up, and he can see the concern loud and clear on her face when he shakes his head ‘no’.

Standing up to get some privacy, Mack walks over to the tinted store-front windows and leans his forehead against the pane. It’s cool and firm, and it might be the only thing keeping him from tears at this point. Just a cool pane of glass and the shaded bodies of people as they hurry by.

“I love you. I love you so much, Turbo, and if you don’t want to get married,” he has to stop to take a breath before pushing on, “we don’t do it. It’s that simple, baby. We just don’t do it.”

Getting married to Fitz is something that Mack only recently allowed himself to think of as more than just a fantasy. He’s only just allowed himself to realize that this is something that he gets to _have_  with the man he loves, and it’s bittersweet… but he would rather stay as they are than risk losing Fitz over a marriage he obviously doesn’t want.

Forehead pushed against the glass, Mack closes his eyes to better block out the tinted light that streams through the window. With his eyes closed it’s easier to focus on the quiet hiccups on the other line. He would give anything to have Fitz in his arms, to be able to draw him in close to better comfort him.

For now, he settles for the sound of Fitz’s breathing evening out as Mack waits for him to speak.


	8. Prompt: High school reunion

He hadn’t meant to leave the invitation on the table. It’s just easy to get distracted these days; what with the stress of wedding-planning and the ever-present stress of being part of a hunted former government agency… all that being said, the invitation is decidedly  _not_  in the wastepaper bin.

Where it should be.

Instead, Mack’s holding it between his fingertips, shaking it lightly with a teasing little flip of a smile.

“Hey, Turbo. I didn’t realize that your High School reunion was coming up! Did you already ask Coulson for the time off, or did you want me to do it when I meet with him to request time for our honeymoon?”

Just the idea of going to the reunion has Fitz’s skin crawling with unease.

“I would rather you didn’t ask Coulson, since we’re not going.”

The look on face makes it clear that his tone was a little too curt, perhaps a touch too icy, but there’s a reason why Fitz had meant to throw the invitation out with the rest of the trash. Twenty-three reasons to not go, really - one for every person that he had graduated with.

He can see the question on Mack’s face, and it’s sad. It’s so sad that Mack will never understand the way that Fitz had been tortured in school. Every day had been a new opportunity for bullying and teasing. Unlike Mack, who still connected with his friends on Facebook, Fitz hadn’t flourished until after he had graduated.

“I know that you don’t get it, Mack… but I barely survived High School. There is no way in hell that I would ever associate with those people again.”

Nodding, Mack rips the invitation in half before tossing it into the bin.

“Wanna tell Coulson that we’re going anyway? Just you, me, and a long weekend to go wherever we want?”

Fitz can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. Can’t help the invisible pull that brings him into Mack’s arms. Couldn’t stop the delighted laugh from escaping past his lips if he wanted to.

At the end of the day, Mack may not understand what Fitz went through in High School… but he understands Fitz well enough to know just how to make it better.


	9. Prompt: Strangers on a train

It’s supposed to be a routine mission.

It’s always supposed to be a routine mission when it ends upgoing to shit.

Like right now, for instance. With Hydra agents patrolling up and down the aisles, guns waving and threats flying in the air faster than a machine gun, all Mack can do is hunker down and pray that they make it through this alive. They hadn’t anticipated so many of Hydra to show up.

He’s not terribly worried about himself. As a mechanic, he wasn’t high enough in the S.H.I.E.L.D. roster to be worth looking into. It’s what has allowed him to blend in time and time again. It had taken Mack a few months to realize the true reason behind Coulson bringing him into the fold. Sure, he could maintain the fleet, but his real value was his anonymity.

Mack had never been high enough on the totem pole to bring attention to himself, never mattered enough. But then, Mack isn’t the only person on this mission.

Schooling his face so that it doesn’t bring any attention to himself, Mack makes sure that there isn’t a hint of recognition when Fitz is pushed past his seat, hands wrenched behind him forcibly and eyes fiercely defiant.

He doesn’t allow himself to leap out of his seat when one of the Hydra thugs sucker punches Fitz, doesn’t shout out the way he wants to when they move to abandon the train with Fitz along for the ride.

No, Mack doesn’t allow himself to do anything until Hydra has vacated the train car. It’s only then that he’s able to radio for backup. It’s only then that he can allow himself to freak out, to cry, to rage that his lover had been taken under his watch.

There had been nothing else to do. They couldn’t break cover, couldn’t risk the fact that Hydra wouldn’t take Fitz with them back to their base. Fitz had made him promise before they even boarded.

_“Remember, they mustn’t know that we are anything other than strangers on a train.”_


	10. Prompt: Karaoke love confession

Funny enough, Karaoke Night had been Hunter’s idea. EachFriday night, the team comes together to sing and laugh, and it’s probably thehappiest that Mack’s seen this group of people since he joined.

They learned soon enough who was tone deaf (Coulson… he has no idea), who leaned towards pop pieces (Bobbi and Jemma like to hold Britney vs. Christina battles), who prefers Disney and Showtunes (surprisingly, May), and who loves the classics (Fitz is a fan of Sinatra, and Mack isn’t objective enough to say if he’s any good… Skye has taken to calling him out when he starts mooning, and it’s shameful). You’ve got the wild cards (Skye) and then you have Mack, who’s spent the entire time sitting in the corner working up the courage to dedicate a love song to Fitz.

It’s Friday night, and Mack should be joining the rest of the team for Karaoke Night. He had finally decided on the perfect song to bear his soul (Sinatra’s  _I’ve Got A Crush On You_. Yeah, it’s dorky, but it’s the kind of thing he thinks Fitz would appreciate).

He should be on stage, but instead he’s in the field, diving for cover from a spray of bullets. He’ll be lucky to survive this in one piece… lucky to survive it at all. There’s no way to let Fitz know how he feels, no way to know if he’ll make it back in one piece. He’s taken a shot to the shoulder, and backup is still nowhere to be seen.

There’s a lot of blood, and his vision is getting blurred at the edges, but the only thing he can think about is what song Fitz would have picked.


	11. Prompt: Going to the gym

“ _Damnit_ , Mack. Just go cool down, we’ll discuss this later.”

Fitz can’t help but wince at the hard tone Coulson throws atMack. It’s a far cry from the team’s beginnings, which had been frightening andexciting all at the same time. They had been a family then before everythinghad gone to shit.

He wants to apologize again for Mack, to tell them that they misunderstood, that they all just needed to listen. He wants to hold Mack’s hand as he rails against the team, and he wants to make sure they all know where he stands.

Fitz wants so much, but he settles for following Mack instead. At least, he starts to, but then Mack’s rounding on him instead.

“What are you following me around for, Fitz?”

He knows how he must look, mouth gaped in surprise, but it’s the first time that Mack’s spoken to him like this. Like he’s stupid. Like he’s slow. It hurts more than he could have ever expected.

“I just wanted to make sure that you were alright.”

“I don’t need you to check up on me, and I sure as hell don’t need you apologizing for me and putting words in my mouth in front of the rest of the team. You have no idea what I went through down there, and you have no right to speak for me.”

He can feel the telltale burning behind his eyes that always comes before tears, and it’s overwhelming. Fitz has never seen Mack like this before today, has never had him direct his anger and his hurt at Fitz. Mack looks livid, and Fitz  _tries_  to remember how much he’s been through. He tries to remember what a good friend Mack has been to him, how much he means to Fitz. He tries, but all he can focus on is how much it hurts.

Fitz turns away from Mack, shoulders hunched, eyes downcast to avoid the pitying looks of the rest of the team.  He wishes that he could go back to before the temple. He wishes that Mack would beg for forgiveness, would apologize for snapping.

“C’mon, Mack,” Hunter says, tone tight with forced levity. “Let’s go down to the gym. You need to clear your head before you hurt anyone else today.”

Fitz stands there, listening to their footsteps as they walk away. He wishes that he was anywhere else.


	12. Prompt: Speed dating

“Hi, I’m Chad.”

The man sitting across from him, Chad, is handsome and ascharming as one can be in a ten minute period. Chad loves dogs, runs a drivingschool, and really likes to wink. Chad also really likes talking, and talking, and he doesn’t seem to mind that Fitz doesn’t have anything to say in return. He seems like a good enough person, but he’s not Mack. None of the seven men he’s sat with tonight are anything like Mack.

Of course, that was the point of signing up for a speed-dating event. Skye had insisted, something about living a new life and embracing change. Embracing change is all well and good when you’ve taken on super powers… it’s not as much fun when you’ve left the person you love behind - when that person’s anger and disdain still haunts you…  _yeah_ , there’s a reason why Fitz is attempting speed-dating now.

The biggest problem is that Fitz just isn’t good at speed-dating, or dating at all for that matter. He never knows what to say and ends up zoning out at the worst of times - that much is obvious from the way Chad is looking at him now like Fitz is a  _particularly_ sad person. He’s had enough people look at him like he’s slow to last a lifetime, and just like that, Fitz is over Chad.  He’s over Chad’s handsome, angular face, and his blonde hair that’s been gelled back.

Fitz is over the whole thing, can’t even pretend anymore that this is what he wants. He pushes his chair back noisily before darting away, keeping his eyes on the floor as he rushes out of the bar. It’s only a few blocks to the apartment he shares with Skye and he makes it back in good time, shooting a longing glance at the out-of-order elevator before heading up to the third floor two steps at a time.

He’s prepared to tell Skye that it went well as he slides the key into the lock, planned all the little lies and half-truths he’ll tell her about the event. Ever since they stopped running, she’s been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, and for some reason Fitz’s love life is one of the things she needs to “fix”… so, Fitz lies a little to make her feel better. It’s not so much lying as it is trying to convince your friend that you’ve moved on when you very clearly haven’t.

Throwing the keys onto the little table next to the door that they found through FreeCycle, Fitz almost calls out to Skye to let her know that he’s home, but he sees Mack first. Mack. Sitting on their ratty, thrift-shop sofa, Mack looks incredibly out of place as he sips from one of the oversized pink plastic chalices that Skye had fallen in love with and insisted they buy.

Fitz can’t get a word out before Skye wanders back into the room.

“ _Hey_ , Fitz. I would have called, but I knew you had a hot date. Turns out, we weren’t as under the radar as we thought. Coulson sent Mack to bring us in.”

It feels like the rug has been pulled out from under his feet, and Fitz has to lean back against the wall behind him in order to avoid falling over entirely. He tries to ignore the false hope that bloomed when Mack’s face had fallen to hear about Fitz’s “hot date” and focuses instead on the way that Mack can’t even look at him now. Of  _course_  Coulson would send the one person on the team that didn’t want either of them around. It’s twisted, and such a Coulson thing to do that Fitz can’t help the angry smirk that comes to his lips.

“Fantastic! Bloody fantastic, I can’t wait to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D. so that you can be experimented on under close observation and so that I can be perpetually looked down upon as a simple, broken fool who did the wrong thing yet  _again_. I suppose I’ll just go pack my bags then.”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just walks quickly to his room before the tears start falling.


	13. Prompt: Treasure hunt

It had started when they found Fitz’s cardigan. Bloodied,torn, and stained almost beyond recognition, they had found it at the front door.

It would probably be more accurate to say that it had beengifted, rather than found, since it had arrived in a non-descript brown cardboard box. There had been no note, no ransom, and no answers.

That had only been the beginning though, because the gifts just kept on coming each Thursday morning without fail. Next was his shoes, then his pants, his shirt, his watch. Each delivery showed up neatly packaged, immaculate, and untraceable. The clothing got progressively dirtier with each delivery, and it was Simmons who was able to confirm that it was Fitz’s blood. Mack can still remember how pale her face had been, how her whole body had trembled as she presented her findings. 

The blood had been a match, and the other trace substances lead to dead-ends. 

It’s been over a month, and Mack can’t sleep. He can barely keep it together, picturing Fitz beaten and bruised, naked and shivering in a cell. Every time he closes his eyes the scenario changes slightly, but the constant that runs throughout is the deep terror he feels for Fitz. What scares him more than anything else is the fact that this is only the beginning. Eventually, Fitz’s clothing will run out, and Mack can’t stand to think what they might send next.

They find two baggies in the next box, the first filled with Fitz’s hair… and the other containing a severed finger. It’s small and slender, and Mack is gutted because he knows Fitz’s graceful, beautiful fingers intimately. He’s run his fingers through that hair, felt Fitz’s fingers memorize the planes of his body. He feels sick and he feels numb. 

It’s silent in the room as May leads Simmons out gently, and it’s only after they are gone that Coulson looks back into the box. With a gloved hand, he pulls out a creased map of the United States and a note that… that looks like it has been written in blood.

_Come and find him, or he’ll soon run out of fingers._


	14. Prompt: Going to the carnival

Alphonso Mackenzie has a plan, and it’s going to be great.He’s going to propose to his boyfriend once they reach the top of the ferris wheel and it’s going to be romantic, and perfect, and something they tell their future children about in the years to come. At least, that’s the plan.

It would all be going smoother if Fitz didn’t look like he was either going to throw up or punch someone in the face.

“Hey Turbo, you doing okay?” Fitz doesn’t respond, squeezes his eyes closed instead, and it makes Mack’s stomach dip with dread. Taking a chance, he scoots over towards where Fitz is sitting only to stop at the glare Fitz shoots his way when his eyes pop open in panic.

“Stay where you were, Mack. I am not about to die because you feel some delayed need to comfort me.”

It’s not that they have never fought. It was rough after Mack had been possessed by the temple, and then there had been the team divide over the Inhuman situation, but they had overcome it all. They had even rode out the fighting that raged within the team as well as their relationship after his true allegiance was revealed. He and Fitz had gotten through it all, and all the fights and disagreements just helped to make their relationship what it is now.

That being said, for all of their fighting Mack has never seen Fitz like this - he’s never heard Fitz hiss at him with such venom. This is not part of the plan. Sliding back over to his original seat, Mack raises his hands in surrender, but it does no good with Fitz’s eyes squeezed shut again.

“Fitz, what’s wrong? I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

If possible, Fitz’s eyes screw even tighter shut. “I never wanted to come to the bloody carnival, and I thought I had made myself clear, but you guilted me with your puppy dog eyes and sad face.” The words fall out in a rush, and they just keep coming. “I didn’t have stellar hand-eye coordination  _before_  the brain damage, so for you to take me to play these boardwalk games now is laughable! The rides all make me nauseous, and I fucking hate heights, so if you don’t mind I would be greatly pleased if you would just stay where you are and shut up so that I can survive this.”

Fitz’s eyes are shut, so he doesn’t see the wounded look on Mack’s face as he pats at the ring box sitting in his pocket. He doesn’t see the way Mack closes his own eyes in frustration and pain, because Mack had a plan… Mack had a plan, and it all went to shit.

Leaning back in his seat, Mack waits in defeat for the ride to be over.[  
](http://thisiswherethefishlives.tumblr.com/post/113068345264/flangst-going-to-the-carnival)


	15. Prompt: First trip way together

Never let it be said that Fitz isn’t a romantic. He had been planning this vacation for ages, workedtirelessly with Skye to make sure that everything was booked properly under their aliases and that everything was perfect.

You don’t get a lot of opportunities to bring your boyfriend on a tour of Europe that ends with him meeting your mum for the first time. No, you only get one shot..

Staring down at Mack’s cold, lifeless body laid out in the morgue, it’s clear now that he had taken too damn long. Hydra waits for no man’s romantic overseas vacation, and it sure as hell doesn’t care about the beautiful, strong, amazing man that died protecting Fitz.

Every time Fitz closes his eyes he’s hit over the head with the same scene playing over and over again. Mack pushes him into one of the janitorial closets, barricading the door with his body as the enemy closed in. He can still hear the sound of Mack’s wet, tortured breaths. He can still see how Mack’s blood pooled underneath the door, creeping closer to where Fitz was crouched on the floor struggling against a panic attack. Mostly, he can still hear the muffled gun shots. The first has Mack’s body sliding audibly down against the door. The second, third, and fourth shots ringing out even in the closet. Fitz can remember waiting to die, finding solace in the knowledge that he wouldn’t be far behind. He remembers pushing up to his feet, squaring his shoulders, and waiting for a death that wouldn’t come.

No, May had reached them a little too late, had taken out the Hydra agents in time to save Fitz, but Mack was dead before she had even turned the corner.

For a long while, Fitz had been at a loss. What to do, who to tell. Apparently, Mack had even less family than Fitz, and it was decided that he should take the ashes. Coulson had also decided it would be best for Fitz to take that long vacation after all, had explained that some time to heal would be for the best.

With a bitter smile on his face, a resignation letter on Coulson’s desk, and Mack in his carry-on, Fitz boards the plane.

Never let it be said that he isn’t a romantic. He’ll show Mack Europe - the art of Italy, the architecture of France, the history of England. He’ll show Mack everything. He’ll introduce Mack to his mother, and he’ll show him all the places that Fitz would explore in his youth.

You don’t get a lot of opportunities to bring your boyfriend on a tour of Europe, after all… and if you’re  _real_  lucky you won’t be alone when you do.


	16. Prompt: Getting pictures taken

Honestly, the last thing Mack expects to find when he gets home from work is Fitz sobbing quietly as he stands over Maggie’s crib. She'sfast asleep, but Mack can see the dried tears on her face.

As Mack comes closer, Fitz spins frantically, and Mack has never seen him look more trapped. Forcing his face to stay neutral, he inches forward until he can wrap his arms around his husband, pulling him in close and just… breathing him in. Fitz smells like citrus shampoo and baby powder, and he is still the most beautiful man Mack has ever known.

Hands running up and down Fitz’s back in the way that usually soothes him, Mack waits until his breathing evens out and the tears stop falling before pulling back enough to look Fitz in the eye.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Fitz shakes his head  _no_  and that’s all Mack needs to see. They can work it out later. “It’s alright, Turbo. Why don’t you go get a glass of water, and I’ll get Maggie dressed.”

He had hoped that it would help diffuse the situation, but instead the tears have been turned back on and Fitz is shaking his head.

“I can’t do it, Mack. S-she doesn’t  _love_  me the way she loves you. I tried to get her dressed, but she wouldn’t cooperate like she does with you, and she started  _screeching_. And, and then I tried changing her, but my hands wouldn’t stop shaking and it got everywhere, and we had to change again, and I _can’t_! I’m not her Daddy, Mack, and I’m not much of a Papa, and… and…”

Mack pulls him close again, waits for Fitz to cry it out, to get it out of his system before saying anything.

“Turbo, you know that I love you. Maggie loves you too, but they call them the ‘terrible twos’ for a reason. You’re the best Papa, you’re patient and kind, and you have more love inside of you than anyone I have ever met.”

“But, you’re so much better with her, Mack.”

Huffing a laugh into Fitz’s hair, Mack leans down to press a kiss to his temple. “It’s not that I’m better with her, Turbo. I grew up with younger siblings, so I got a lot more practice in than you did. That’s all. I wouldn’t want anyone else beside me, wouldn’t want anyone else for a partner in raising our child.”

Fitz lifts onto his toes to press a wobbly smile into the column of Mack’s neck, and it’s such a tender, familiar gesture that Mack knows right there that it’s going to be okay.

“Love you, Mack.”

“Love you too.” Mack takes a moment to revel in the warmth of Fitz’s love, in the quiet of the moment before he remembers the point of the day’s adventure in parenting. “Why don’t you get settled and I’ll get Maggie ready for the portraits?”

Fitz pulls back, sniffling inelegantly before shaking his head determinedly. “No, I’m her Papa. I picked out her outfit, and by god, I am going to squeeze her cute little body into it if it’s the last thing I do.”

Mack only helps a little bit by distracting Maggie over Fitz’s shoulder as he maneuvers her chubby little legs into her romper. Once dressed, it’s off to the studio so they don’t lose their appointment. It’s a close thing, but they make it.

They manage to get a few shots in before Maggie loses interest, but the proud smile Fitz shoots him as the photographer dutifully continues to snap away has Mack feeling on top of the world. This is his family, and he doesn’t need a fancy picture to remind him just how lucky he is.


	17. Prompt: Flowers

It’s not like the tattoos are this big secret. Easily hiddenby cardigans and the like, they are just a part of him that often goes underthe radar. Fitz never forgets that they are there, inked from his shoulder down his forearm – flowers upon flowers upon flowers, the black and white mingled with newer, more colorful additions for each of their children. No, Fitz never forgets his tattoos and what they mean, but he sometimes forgets that not everyone is a big fan.

Usually, it’s easy to brush off the judgment and condescending looks, but it’s a little more difficult this time as Maggie’s fourth grade teacher glares at him from across her desk. Mrs. Carver was an imposing character before he had rolled up his sleeves, but it’s clear now that she isn’t a fan of his life choices.

“Well, I hope that you won’t take this  _personally_  Mr. Fitz, but you’ll have to keep your tattoos covered when you’re in my classroom. It certainly wouldn’t  _do_  to have the children asking about them. We wouldn’t want the students to be influenced by your choices, hmmm?”

He can feel the flush rush to his cheeks at her comments and implications – as if he would encourage a group of elementary students to get tattooed. Glancing to his left, he can see the glower on Mack’s face, and he knows that if he doesn’t respond Mack will… and it will not be to Mrs. Carver’s benefit to let that happen.

“N-no, of course I wouldn’t… I am, uh… dedicated to Maggie’s education, I can assure you. I don’t want anything to stand in the way of her learning.”

It’s always difficult to find his words when he’s flustered, and this woman has him off his game to say the least. Maggie’s been doing so well in her class though, coming home with smiles and full marks, always bubbling over about one project or another.

Looking down her glasses at him, Mrs. Carver sniffs delicately before moving on to show them samples of Maggie’s work. Rolling down his sleeves again, Fitz nods along with a smile on his face the entire time.

* * *

“I cannot believe the nerve of that woman talking to you like you’re some kind of punk, Turbo. It’s not right, and frankly I don’t know if I want Maggie being taught by someone like that. If she doesn’t like your tattoos, what other life decisions will she condemn us for?”

They’ve been discussing the parent-teacher conference for days now, and while it was nice to have Mack’s support at first, it’s started to fray at Fitz’s nerves.

“Mack… we’ve been over this. Maggie is flourishing in that class. She has friends now! Last week alone she had two separate sleepover invitations.” He can see the scowl on Mack’s face, but he’s not about to let it linger. “It would be one thing if it was just social, but she’s top of the class. She’s _happy_ , Mack. I didn’t have that growing up, and I’m not about to jeopardize that because of my tattoos. God knows, I didn’t think about having children when I got these… maybe if I had I would have made a different decision, but I don’t regret them. I don’t, and I don’t regret having to cover up when we visit Maggie’s classroom. Her education and happiness is more important than one judgmental woman’s feelings towards me.”

He can see Mack deflate, can’t help but let out a sigh of relief when Mack nods in agreement.

“You’re right. I know that you’re right, I just don’t ever want you to diminish yourself for someone else.”

Laughing at that, Fitz moves until he’s perched in Mack’s lap, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Please, I  _love_  cardigans. It’s hardly diminishing me to throw one on.”

That has a smile back on Mack’s face, and Fitz is about to kiss him silly when the baby monitor picks up an unholy wail that is quickly paired with another.

“What do you say, Mack? You take one, I’ll take the other?”

* * *

“Hey, babe? Can you come downstairs for a second?”

Fitz clicks his pen closed before standing up, stretching his arms above his head before starting down the stairs. He’s been doing more and more work from home lately, and it’s been amazing to be able to spend more time with his family.

“On my way! Did you want me in the living room or-“

He’s only just turned the corner of the stairs when he sees them. It’s…  it’s certainly unexpected to see his family lined up – Mack and Maggie standing side-by-side with Lily and Henry sat on the floor beside them, each one holding a bouquet of flowers… well, Lily and Henry have the flowers draped across their chubby little legs, but that’s not the point. The point is that he honestly can’t imagine what’s going on. It’s not his birthday… and it’s certainly not Father’s day because he has _plans_  for that, thank you very much.

“Papa! We got you flowers just like your  _arms_!” Maggie’s little face is just lit up as she rushes forward to push a bouquet of chrysanthemums into his arm. “See? Just like the one that you got for me! And Daddy made sure that we got some for the babies too because you have the best arms of any Papa ever and we love you!”

Glancing down, Fitz can see the bouquet of ranunculus blooms for Lily and of course, sunflowers for Henry. They are all so, so beautiful, and it’s with happy tears in his eyes that he turns back to Maggie.

“These are so beautiful, Mags. Thank you so much!” He takes the bouquets from his children before turning back to Mack, who is standing there with a small smile and a huge bunch of hydrangeas and thistles tied up neatly with ribbon. Reaching forward, Fitz grabs those as well, and he can’t remember the last time that his arms were this filled with anything other than babies. Pressing close, he kisses Mack’s cheek before pulling back.

“I love them. Thank you.”

“Yeah, well. Just because you’re okay with some people not liking your tattoos doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be reminded how much  _we_  love them. They are beautiful, just like you… just like our family.”

The tears are falling now, and normally Fitz would be self-conscious of being such a sap, but he can’t find it in himself to do anything other than smile.


	18. Prompt: Hot air balloon

“Shit.  _Shit_. Turbo, you have approximately five minutes before we take off in this thing. Get your ass into the basket, or I swear to God I will kick your ass.”

Over the static of the comm, Mack can hear Fitz panting and cursing under his breath, and it’s terrifying. Scanning the field around them, he can’t see Fitz anywhere.

“I’m not going to make it, Mack. I’m cut off. I tried, please-”

“What do you mean, you’re cut off? Where are you?” Mack doesn’t mean to cut off Fitz midsentence, but he refuses to accept the fact that Fitz won’t make it. “I can come to you, we can wait. Where are you?”

The static crackles louder, and he can’t say for sure, but Mack would swear that Fitz is sobbing on the other end of the line. It’s all wrong, and he won’t leave Fitz to die here when he’s  _this_  close to getting out alive. There’s too much between them that hasn’t been explored yet… so much potential.

“Mack. You need to  _go_. You need to get Skye away from here before Cal can get to you - he’s armed, and he will kill you.”

Mack wants to fight against Fitz, wants to refuse to listen… but he can read the fear on Skye’s face, and he can hear the warped crackle of the molten lava racing towards them, spurred on by one of Cal’s minions.

“Fitz, I’m sorry.”

He makes quick work of untethering the stealth air balloon, motioning for Skye to grab on as they quickly gain altitude. The comm connection, tenuous and weak is on its’ last legs when Mack hears Fitz for what will be the last time.

“I love you, and I’m sorry too. I  _tried_.”

The connection fizzles out to a sharp whine followed immediately by silence. Turning away from Skye’s tear-stained face and knowing look, Mack looks out over the wreckage of the island below them. He knows in that instant that he’s done.


	19. Prompt: Pretend boyfriends

It’s not something that happens terribly often, no matter how much Skye teases him about it. It’s not like he’s asked out constantly, itjust so happens that people  _like_  Fitz. Apparently, if Skye can believed, they like his earnest smiles and pretty eyes. Whatever. It’s not something that happens terribly often, but it does happen enough where he’s developed a routine. It’s not perfect, but it works.

Handing the large to-go cup to Mikke, or whatever the scrawled name reads, Fitz does his best to smile kindly before letting the guy down.

“I’m sorry, but I actually have a boyfriend, and I think he would mind if I gave out my number.” Pulling the oversized cardigan around him pointedly, Fitz can’t help but give thanks for the limited field training that he had received to help the lie come out believably. Mikke doesn’t stop smiling for a second, shrugging the rejection off and parting with a little wave.

It’s been months since he’s seen Mack, and there’s not a second that he thinks about what could have been had everything not gone on its head… but he’s got a piece of Mack in the sweater. As much as Skye teases him over it, there’s an unspoken understanding between them over what it means. There’s a sadness there that neither of them are willing to touch, so instead they focus on getting by.

He’s on autopilot, preparing the next customer’s coffee when a gentle cough comes from behind him.

“What about me, Turbo. Can I get your number, or are you going to use my sweater to try and convince me that you’re taken?”

Fitz would be shocked by the sound of Mack’s voice had he not managed to spill the Mocha he had been working on all over himself.

He doesn’t turn around immediately, focuses on the pain of the burn and the rapidly cooling stain on his front instead. He focuses on the pain because if he takes one moment to think about the fact that Mack tracked them down he’s going to spiral. If he takes the time to consider what it means for Skye that S.H.I.E.L.D. knows where they are he will fall apart. If he allows himself to hope… well, there isn’t time for that. His right hand is smarting and the line out front is growing longer.

Turning around to face Mack, Fitz says the only thing that comes to mind.

“Fuck.”


	20. Prompt: Snowball fight

There’s something about the way that Fitz’s eyes light up when he takes in the Winter Wonderland around them that has Mack on the verge of tearing out his heart, just to make it easier to give to Fitz. He has to keep reminding himself that there is a mission. A vital, dumbass mission, and before he’s done the man standing in front of him will want nothing to do with him ever again. Once Fitz knows the truth of what Mack’s doing here with Bobbi, once he figures out that Mack is a liar and undeserving of his trust…

Every day they spend here with Coulson’s team is another day spent lying to Fitz. There’s a reason why Mack’s been advising Bobbi to cool her relationship with Hunter. He’s seen what a mission like this does to relationships, how the lies and the truths get so intermingled that you can never unravel the mess when you need to most. He’s seen firsthand how the trust gets ripped away, and he’s ruined relationship after relationship because of it. Because even in the safety of his life outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. it’s always easier to fall back into the habits of spinning falsehoods and lying and closing anything vital off to avoid getting hurt.

Of course, then he had met Leo Fitz, and it’s like he can’t help himself. Mack can’t hold back, can’t make himself remember that this is a mission, that he’s playing this team, that he shouldn’t be opening up to someone. But then Fitz’s eyes will light up when he manages to find the words he needs on his own, and Mack just sheds another piece of his armor. Fitz shoots him a smile as they battle it out on the Xbox, and Mack just wants to give him everything.

He wants so mu-

It’s probably saying something, but Mack was not expecting the snowball. Not at all. He wasn’t prepared for it to hit him smack dab in the back of his head, and he wasn’t prepared for the peal of giggles that rushes out of Fitz.

“Oh, it’s on Turbo. You best watch yourself, I have three older brothers, and I  _always_  kicked their ass at snowball fights.”

Hunkering down, Mack packs snowball after snowball with practiced ease before loading them up in his arms. He takes a deep breath and charges off in Fitz’s direction, and it nearly takes his breath away to see the pink of Fitz’s cheeks and the blue of his eyes and the joy that’s evident all over his face.

Yeah, sometimes Mack just wants to rip out his heart so that he can give it to Fitz, just so the other man will have something that isn’t false to remember him by. He throws the first snowball instead.


	21. Prompt: Snowed in

“I c-can’t feel my t-toes or ff-fingers anymore.”

Fitz’s entire body is wracked with shivers as he turns hishead to better take in Mack.

It’s not good. Mack stopped shivering awhile back, and nowhe’s breathing shallowly… it was supposed to be a routine mission before everything fell apart and he and Mack got separated from the rest of the team.

It could have been hours trapped here, could be days for all Fitz knows. Every time he opens his eyes, all he registers is the blinding white of the blizzard raging outside the small cave that Mack had managed to find. It’s barely large enough to be called a cave, but it was large enough to fit the two of them, and Fitz remembers feeling so grateful at first.

This cave was going to be their salvation. They were going to make it long enough to be rescued, and then Mack was going to take him on that fancy date that they had cancelled last second to go on this bloody mission. They were going to get out.

“Mack? B-baby?”

There’s no indication that Mack’s heard him, and suddenly Fitz isn’t so sure, anymore, if they will survive this. Pressing closer against Mack’s unresponsive body, Fitz closes his eyes and tries to resign himself to the fact that this is the end.


	22. Prompt: Drunk dialing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of a 6-part arc between myself and [fitzheartmack](http://fitzheartmack.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Here's the link for [Part 1](http://fitzheartmack.tumblr.com/post/114242696495/thisiswherethefishlives-challenged-applying-sun/)! Part 3 will be linked below. <3

“Fitz, you need to calm down and find Mack. We’re justabout to touch down, and I won’t be able to keep my comm on.”

“B-but Jemmmmmmmmmmm. I can’t! He’s all over this…this… a  _sexy_   _lady_  and he wouldn’t notice me if I tried.”

There’s a heavy pause on the line, but it’s fine because it gives Fitz the opportunity to take a long pull at his pina colada. They are just - he had never realized how - yeah, these are so much better than beer. If he had known how good pina coladas were, he would have been drinking them for _years_.

“Fitz… are you  _drunk_? Where’s Mack? You two were supposed to be laying low and keeping a tab on our mark.”

Snorting inelegantly, Fitz waves the bartender over for a refill before replying.

“Mack’s busy… I think ‘e is gonna want me out of the way. I thought he liked meeeeeee, and now I’m gonna die alone an’ he’s gonna do it like they do…” he hiccups daintily and hopes no one noticed before continuing, “on the  _Discovery_  channel.”

He does his best to keep the sob that wants to wrack his body under wraps. The bartender certainly wouldn’t be filling up his cup if he was crying all over the place. So, yes. Best plan. Talk to Jemma, have some more delicious drink, and then get a job here so he can get paid in pina coladas. Fitz is so caught up in his new future that it takes a moment to realize that Jemma’s still talking to him.

“Fitz, stay where you are, I’m going to send Mack over and he’s going to sort this all out. Stick near Mack until we get back, and stay out of trouble.”

Just like that, the connection is cut, and Fitz is left alone at the bar with his refilled drink. With a glance that would probably be less noticeable if he wasn’t five drinks in, Fitz can see that Mack is nowhere near.

Sliding off the seat carefully, Fitz sends a nod to the bartender before grabbing his drink and hurrying away before Mack can find him. If he’s lucky, Mack will just go back to his new  _friend_ and will leave Fitz to mourn something that didn’t even exist. Clearly, every sign that he had seen that indicated Mack was interested in him… clearly, it was just Fitz imagining it. He can’t compete with some leggy red-head. Nope.

He walks for what feels like hours before sitting down at the base of a palm tree, reveling in the shade and wishing that he could retrofit a camelback tote to serve pina coladas on the run. It seems feasible. As the sun goes down, Fitz closes his eyes and hopes that Jemma cares enough to come find him when she’s done with the mission. He already knows that Mack won’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Click here for Part 3](http://fitzheartmack.tumblr.com/post/114319413545/thisiswherethefishlives-challenged-love/).


	23. Prompt: Surprise Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Click here for Part 3.](http://fitzheartmack.tumblr.com/post/114319413545/thisiswherethefishlives-challenged-love/)

Yeah, when Coulson had first given them their assignments,it was pretty clear that Fitz and Mack weren’t going to be seeing any action. Itwas also very, very clear from the way that May had hissed threats into his ear before clapping Mack on the shoulder that this was as good a time as any to man up and confess his feelings for Fitz.

And yeah, he can see how it would be the perfect place to spew feelings, what with the beautiful beaches to set the mood and the tropical drinks to loosen the tongue… all that pale, soft skin that Fitz keeps hidden under his cardigans just begging Mack to cover it in sun block.

It should have been the perfect way to tell Fitz that he’s in love with him, but no. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy, what with Fitz disappearing with a pina colada (if the bartender can be believed, though it’s not like there’s a surplus of tiny Scottish guys running around here).

Mack remembers it clearly, shooting a smile at the woman who had been keeping him company in Fitz’s absence, remembers apologizing and explaining that he needs to track his partner down before it gets dark. He remembers finishing his drink, standing up, and then there’s a whole lot of nothing until he wakes up gagged and tied to one of the hotel chairs as the woman riffles through their bags.

“Oh, you’re awake! Your little boyfriend never came back, so I suppose it will just be you and me tonight. Seems only fair that I pay you back, huh, since you were so kind to take care of me earlier with the sunblock?”

Sauntering closer, she makes herself comfortable in his lap before leaning close and stroking a firm hand against his cheek. The whole thing has him wanting to vomit. At this point, the nausea could be whatever she had put into his drink, but it’s far more likely that it’s the fact that this person is probably evil and more importantly  _not_  Fitz.

Mack can see her scowling at him as he turns away from her, the easier to avoid her attention.

“Oh, yes. How could I forget? I’m not really your type. What a pity, you would have made an excellent henchman.”

It’s tempting to breathe a sigh of relief when she dismounts off of his legs, but it all seems too easy. This woman wants something from him - from  _them_  - and not for the first time, Mack finds himself panicking over Fitz. It’s not like him to go missing, not at all, and it’s got Mack’s skin crawling in discomfort.

Of course, that’s when the door slams open.

_“MACK! S’ok Mack, I forgive you for sexying with the red lady..cos you didna know that you could have been sexying with me. Cos I was stupid and never said you could. Cos you can. Sexy with me. Any time, any where.”_

Yeah, so much for Fitz being missing. It’s all Mack can do to struggle at his restraints, to try to communicate to Fitz that he is in danger and that he needs to run. Unfortunately, there are a few things working against him, most noticeably the fact that Fitz is drunk off his ass.

There’s also the fact that this  _woman_ , whoever she is, has a sense of humor.

“Well, this certainly isn’t what I had in mind at first, but there’s something ever so refreshing about a surprise party!”

Yeah, some party this ended up being, what with the woman deciding to tie Fitz up as well… on Mack’s lap… leaving this drunken, wriggly, wily little man without a gag. As it is, Fitz lit up at the situation, dropping his head back onto Mack’s shoulder to murmur reassurances and innuendos into Mack’s ear in equal measure.

It’s a struggle to keep his mind off of Fitz’s words and warm, pliant body, but the field training that May had insisted on does the trick. Through slit eyes, he tracks the woman across the room as she sweeps it. By the time she’s done, Fitz is passed out snoring and Mack has an unfortunate boner that will be difficult to explain when Fitz wakes up.

“As much fun as this has been for me, it seems that neither of you have what we’re looking for.” Leaning closer, the woman runs a hand through Fitz’s curls and it makes Mack want to shoot her where she stands. She can read his rage easily, smirk firmly in place as she presses a gentle kiss to Fitz’s forehead. “I see what you like about this one. He’s cute. You’ll have to do better in the future at keeping him safe though, won’t you?”

Mack can’t help but take the bait, trying yet again to break free of the ropes, but she’s already danced away and is heading out the door after placing the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the handle.

“See you boys later, I’m sure. My boss is very interested in you, after all.”

With a final wink she’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Click here for Part 5.](http://fitzheartmack.tumblr.com/post/114416993590/thisiswherethefishlives-challenged-snuggling-im/)


	24. Prompt: Skinny dipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all the hard work we put in, it only seemed right to end this collab on a high note with some hopeful smut. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Click here for Part 5.](http://fitzheartmack.tumblr.com/post/114416993590/thisiswherethefishlives-challenged-snuggling-im/)

It could be the pina colada that’s buzzing comfortably underneathhis skin, or it could the hot press of Mack’s thigh against his own. Perhaps hecould blame it on the frothy heat of the jacuzzi, or the way Mack’s muscles glisten in the torch light.

It could really be any number of things, but what truly sets the idea off and running is the fact that they are alone.

They haven’t spoken about it, haven’t had the chance really, but Fitz can still remember Mack groaning into his ear before spilling into his shorts and leaving a wet spot for Fitz to sit in. He can still recall his own aching hardness that went untended to for the two hours it took Bobbi and Hunter to track them down, and he can still vividly remember the way it withered to nothing at the sight of Hunter’s judgmental smirk.

Since then, it’s been a rush of debriefing and scouring the resort for the red-headed woman. All of it for nothing, as she hadn’t left a trace, just a pretty little wave into a security camera before walking away, face obscured the entire time.

So, no. They haven’t spoken about it, but here they are. Alone. Fitz takes a last, lingering pull from his drink before setting it down and leaning closer to Mack to better whisper in his ear.

“Y'should take off your swim trunks.”

Mack doesn’t pull away at the suggestion, laughing gently as he moves closer into Fitz’s space instead.

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting Turbo?”

There’s a glib reply on his tongue, but then it’s swallowed up by Mack’s lips, and his tongue, and his large hands sliding high on Fitz’s thigh. It’s the furthest thing from rushed, the way that Mack leaves Fitz panting for more with each drag of tongue against tongue. There’s a gentle pull at the drawstring of Fitz’s bathing suit that leaves him pulling away from Mack, panting along with the steady beat of his heart.

Eyes locked with Mack’s, Fitz lifts his hips off from the jacuzzi’s ledge just high enough to pull off his trunks. With an eyebrow raised in challenge, Fitz deposits the suit next to his abandoned glass.

Mack’s eyes are dark and his gaze is heavy as he takes in Fitz’s naked form, distorted by the ripples of the water surrounding them. He swallows, and it’s loud enough where Fitz can hear it over the jacuzzi’s motor. Mack’s mouth opens and closes before he manages to force the words out.

“Yeah, fuck. Alright, I can do that.”

Standing up to his full height, Mack slowly removes his trunks, bending down to slide them off before straightening up and tossing the suit to the side. Mack stalks closer to Fitz until he’s standing in front of him, cock stiff and bobbing above the water level.

It’s everything that Fitz has wanted, everything that he’s allowed himself to think about in the darkness of his room at night. His mouth waters as Mack takes another step closer so that he’s near enough that Fitz can make out the fond smile on Mack’s face that morphs into something a little hotter, a little more challenging.

It could be the look on Mack’s face, or the reverent way that Mack is rubbing his hands over Fitz’s shoulders and down his arms. He’s past the point where he could blame it on the fruity drinks, or the romantic atmosphere, or the fact that they are indeed alone.  

In the end, it could be any of a number of things that has Fitz surging forward, but it’s the idea that this is what he’s been wanting for months that has Fitz surging forward to take Mack’s cock between his lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, this little back and forth comes to an end!


	25. Prompt: Campfire

“Put the fire out, Mack.”

He’s used to a lot of things coming out of Fitz’s mouth.Technical babble that goes over his head, little jokes, and sweet whispers whenthe doors are closed. What Mack isn’t used to is the tense, angry hiss that Fitz has been directing at him all day.

“Fitz, I’m sorry, but we are going to freeze if we don’t have a heat source. I don’t see you volunteering to share body heat right now, so we’re going to have a fire and you’re going to deal with it.”

He can hear Fitz kicking at rocks at the edge of the encampment, and is foolish enough to believe that the argument is over until Fitz is rushing up into Mack’s personal space.

“This is  _your_  fault, and you are going to listen to me Alphonso Mackenzie. Put. The fire. Out.”

It’s just another argument to cap off this crappy day and he’s done.

“This isn’t my fault Fitz, you’re the one that wanted to break up with me, and  _you’re_  the one that thought the best time to do so would be right before this mission. So now we’re stranded out here, we have no link to the rest of the team, and it is  _freezing_. So why don’t you get off my ass? If you want to sulk, that’s fine, but I didn’t get a say in any of this, and I will not allow you to pretend like that’s not the case.”

He’s breathing hard by the end of it, and not for the first time he just wishes he could have a good cry, but that’s not a luxury he’s been allowed. No, he’s stuck camping in enemy territory with the love of his life after being dumped only hours before. So, yeah. The indignant look on Fitz’s face just makes Mack want to curl up and forget.

“That’s not what happened. How dare you-”

“Look, Fitz. It’s whatever. You didn’t want to be with me anymore, and it’s not okay but it will be. I just need us to get through this alive, and then you can ignore me, or move on with someone else, or whatever it is you want to do with your life now that I’m out of it. Whatever you want to do is fine, but I refuse to be treated like crap when I don’t deserve it.”

Fitz is shaking his head, and he looks so sad. He looks so, so sad, and that’s the last thing Mack registers before he hears the gunfire and shouting. There’s pain in his chest, and what looks like a lot of blood when he manages to glance down.

It feels like everything is slowed down and distorted, and even though he can see Fitz yelling at him Mack can’t make any of it out. He can only hope that Fitz isn’t angry at him for this, can only be grateful that he got to see Fitz’s face, can only hope that Fitz will forgive him.

The last thought he has before everything goes black is that maybe he should have put the fire out.

 


	26. Prompt: Going to a football game

“They have Mack, May. They have him, and he’s  _here_. I don’t know where he is, but he'ssomewhere close and we can’t leave without him… please don’t make me leavewithout him.”

The comm crackles with static in his ear, but Fitz barely registersthe noise over the panic that’s washing over him in numbing waves. The very idea of leaving this place without Mack has Fitz’s heart nearly skipping out of his chest, and he hates it.

“Fitz, you need to come now or we’ll miss the extraction team.” May’s voice is steady and firm in his ear, but it’s not what he wanted to hear. “We’ll get Mack, but not now.”

“No no no no no no no no nooo - I can’t - I can’t leave him, May,  _please_. We had a date, I can’t leave him, I think I love him and I can’t do this right now.”

He can feel his pulse racing, and it’s all too much.

_They had a date._

They had spent weeks teasing each other on the differences between real football and the mess that American’s call “football” until finally Mack had offered up two tickets to a game. There was supposed to be overpriced beer, and crappy food, and witty banter… they were going to kiss, and Fitz had already decided that it would be perfect… they had a date…

“Fitz!” May’s fierce now, voice clipped and in charge. “You’re going to go on that date, but if it’s going to happen you need to trust me and get to the extraction point NOW. We’re not going to get Mack back without the rest of the team, but I promise you. We  _will_  get him back.”

He knows May can’t see him, but Fitz nods anyway before heading out the door.

He doesn’t look back.

At the end of the day, he has a standing date with Mack… and he trusts May to get him there.


	27. Prompt: Renting a limo

“I really don’t like that man.”

It’s petulant, but Fitz can’t help but find flaws with Richard. Certainly, he seems like a good enough person aside from his affiliations with HYDRA and general evil, but that’s not the problem.

No. The real problem that Fitz has with Richard Poppe is the way he has been seducing Fitz’s boyfriend from the moment their eyes met. From the not-so-subtle way that he undressed Mack with his eyes to the way that Richard insists on eschewing formality to join Mack up in the front of the limo.

The worst part of all is how Mack seems to be enjoying the attention.

“Oh, Fitz, you really should go do something else if you’re going to glare at the screen all day. You know that Mack can’t help the missions that he gets assigned to. Really, posing as a limo driver isn’t the worst thing he’s had to do for SHIELD. It’s not his fault that Mr. Poppe has a type that happens to be tall, black, and gorgeous…” Jemma’s voice trails off for a moment as the two of them watch the mark place his hand high up on Mack’s thigh. “Alright! Well then, I think you should go now before this jeopardizes your relationship.”

Fitz can feel his eye twitch as the hand glides ever higher, but it’s the deep, rumbling laugh that Mack lets out that tips Fitz over the edge because… that’s  _his_  laugh. That’s the laugh Mack only lets out around Fitz when the doors are closed and it’s just the two of them.

With an uneasy knot in his stomach, Fitz turns on his heel and flees.

+

The first person that Mack sees when he gets back to the Playground is Jemma Simmons, and from the tight line of her lips it’s immediately clear that something is wrong.

“You should go see Fitz immediately after your de-briefing.”

“I was planning on it… is he alright?”

“He might have seen Mr. Poppe get a little more hands-on than he had anticipated. I tried to explain that it’s not like you chose to be driving that man around, and that sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to when on mission, but it clearly effected him.”

Mack can see how awkward Simmons feels laying out this information, and it’s understandable - she and Fitz only just started to repair their relationship, and he can’t imagine Fitz appreciating her stepping in now…

With a heavy sigh, Mack heads towards Coulson’s office. The sooner he gets the debriefing over with, the sooner he can deal with what’s going on with Fitz. Then,  _maybe_ , he can take a hot shower to wash off the grime of Richard Poppe’s wandering hands.

+

Mack walks into their room, and Fitz finds that he can’t even look at him. He can’t risk looking at Mack because he knows that the tears that he’s been holding back will spill over, and Fitz isn’t about to make this about his weakness.

“Hey, Turbo. You okay?” Mack’s voice is tired and strained, but Fitz can’t bring himself to care.

“I saw you with Richard.”

The bed dips next to him, but still Fitz is careful to avoid eye contact. Mack takes a deep breath, and Fitz can hear the exhaustion loud and clear.

“Fitz, would you look at me? We’re agents, and sometimes we’re going to have to do things we don’t want for the greater good, but I can promise you that  _nothing_  happened between me and Poppe aside from him getting a little feely. I got the information we needed, he’s none the wiser, and all I could think about the entire time was you.”

Shaking his head, Fitz allows the bitter little laugh that’s been building up to break free.

“I thought that I could be with you after everything… after your betrayal, and I have loved you dearly… The problem is that I can’t trust you. I can’t. I heard you laughing with that man, and it’s the same laugh that you share with me… I  _love_  that little laugh, and now it’s his too.”

“Turbo. I don’t know what you saw through the feed, but it was an act. He made my skin crawl, and it was the last place I would ever want to be, but I had a job to do.”

Finally, Fitz risks a look at Mack, and it hurts. It all hurts because at one point Mack’s job was to buddy up to Fitz. It’s only now that Fitz realizes that you can’t build a relationship on a foundation that doesn’t exist.


	28. Prompt: Circus

He hasn’t been under Coulson’s command long, but it’s been okay so far aside from the whole  _being a double agent_  thing. Really, it’s been better than okay, but that has less to do with the job itself and more to do with Leo Fitz.

Mack can admit the obvious. He’s the first to acknowledge that he has a type and that the engineer fits that type almost exactly. He’s brilliant, and gorgeous with his big blue eyes and soft looking skin that Mack just wants to touch all over. Then there’s the way Fitz carries himself every day despite his handicaps… he’s never really known anyone as strong as Fitz, and that says something after working in an organization like SHIELD for the past ten years.

Yeah, Fitz is pretty damn special, and every day that Mack spends getting to know him makes everything hurt a little more because there’s no way that there won’t be fallout from this operation.

Stuck on that thought, Mack stirs one last spoonful of sugar into his coffee before heading down to the Lab. If Bobbi were around, he would probably have to scramble for an excuse to explain why he’s going to the Lab yet again, but she’s been deep undercover for awhile now. Until she gets back, Mack’s going to do everything in his power to enjoy spending as much time with Fitz as possible.

He’s only about halfway to the Lab when he starts hearing the shouting. Shouting in the Playground? That’s nothing new, not with the high pressure lives they lead, but this? It’s Fitz, and something’s wrong.

If someone asked Mack later on what happened to his coffee, he wouldn’t be able to tell you, because all he can focus on are the heartbreaking sobs and harsh, stuttered words that Fitz lets out as Mack pulls him close enough to comfort. From the corner of his eye, Mack can see the techs clustered by the door, whispering loud enough to be noticed, and it sets his insides on fire.

“Get the hell out of here,” Mack barks and it’s clear from the way they stumble away from each other that they didn’t think they would be noticed. “This isn’t a circus, and it sure as hell isn’t a free show. Get out!”

The techs flee, and he would be worried that he had gone too far, but Fitz is noticeably relaxing in Mack’s arms now. Fitz sniffles into Mack’s shoulder, mumbling something under his breath that’s probably some kind of thanks, and it just makes Mack pull him in closer.

He and Fitz… they aren’t good friends… they aren’t much of anything right now, but Mack can’t help but think that maybe, once it’s all over, they could be something more.


	29. Prompt: Stuffed animal

There’s not much that really scares Fitz these days. He’s looked death in the face, begged for it morethan once, and he’s faced the kind of betrayals that most people don’t come back from. 

He’s seen more than anyone should have seen before they reach thirty.

That being said, Fitz’s heart absolutely stops when he opens his door to find Mack in tears, a battered stuffed rabbit clutched in one hand and a crumpled letter in the other.

He’s never seen Mack like this - wrecked and fragile all at once, and it’s frightening. It’s frightening because Mack is his rock, his constant, and it feels wrong to have Mack be the broken one. 

The fact that Mack would come to him?  _Also_ terrifying, because even with the strides Fitz has made in his recovery, he’s not the one to go to when looking to be put back together. No, Jemma would be better, or Coulson… even May would be better because none of the others are broken.

It takes everything Fitz has to not send Mack away in search of someone capable, stepping back from the door instead to let Mack come inside.

From the slump of Mack’s shoulders to the ragged rhythm of Mack’s breathing… it leaves Fitz at a loss. All of this is wrong. He’s not the nurturing type. He’s not much of anything anymore, and he can’t imagine why Mack would come here.

He’s drawn out of his thoughts when Mack extends one of his hands out for Fitz to take. God knows that Fitz isn’t in his element, but he can certainly follow simple instructions. 

Heart in his throat, Fitz crosses the room to sit next to Mack on the foot of the bed, gently taking the offered hand in his own. There’s a part of Fitz that wants to focus on how nice it feels to have Mack’s hand in his, but it’s tainted by the tears still falling down his face.

“Turbo, did I ever tell you about my twin sister?” Mack’s voice is warped, thin and flat, and it’s wrong because Mack’s always had the most beautiful, warm voice. He can’t bring himself to answer Mack when he sounds so broken, so it’s probably a good thing that Mack doesn’t wait for an answer. “She, uh… I got this letter, and she got in an accident, and I don’t know what to do because she’s gone.”

Risking a glance in Mack’s direction, Fitz almost forgets to breathe because Mack’s pain is palpable, and Fitz knows that there’s nothing he can do. Nothing to do but listen and wait for Mack to tell him what to do.

“When we were little, our nana gave us Mr. Bunn… he was supposed to teach us the value of sharing, but Angela claimed him from day one. She was born five minutes before me, and she never let me hear the end of it because she was always the boss. You would have liked her - she was so tiny, and she wouldn’t let me get away with anything, but she gave me Mr. Bunn when SHIELD hired me, said I would need someone to have my back. She was my best friend, and I don’t know what to do… I just don’t know…”

Squeezing Mack’s hand gently, Fitz allows himself to lean against Mack’s shoulder. He’s so, so tense and it makes Fitz wince because he would give anything for Mack to not have this pain. It’s probably selfish, but Fitz would move the world if it meant Mack could go back to piecing Fitz together instead. Just seeing Mack like this has Fitz adrift, aching, and feeling so alone as he surveys Mack’s heartache.

“Mack… I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to help.”

There’s nothing more to say, and the silence hangs heavy between them. Fitz wishes he was better, wishes he knew what do to or what to say, but his wishes go unanswered as Mack sobs quietly beside him.

He holds Mack’s hand and he leans into Mack’s shoulder, and he waits.


	30. Prompt: Florist shop AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: this is actually just fluff...

The first time that Mack meets Leo Fitz, he doesn’t think much of it beyond a simple business transaction, a not-so-simple appreciation of the other man’s looks, and the need to rush, rush, rush to the next thing. Never let it be said that life as a florist is easy - it’s a time consuming, thankless job, and as cute as the little Scottish guy was Mack can’t waste time on someone he’ll never see again.

Now, the second time that Leo Fitz walks through the front door of  _Alphonso’s_ , things go a little differently. This time it’s a slower day, and there’s room for recognition, for introductions (“Oh, please call me Fitz.” “Yeah, I can do that, but only if you call me Mack.”). There’s time for a lingering handshake and a barked laugh when Fitz pulls his hand back only to grimace and wipe the pollen off onto his pants (“Ah, sorry about that. Hazards of the trade.” “Yes, well, if that’s the worst thing to happen to me today it wouldn’t be a bad day at all.”). If Mack gives Fitz a discount on his bouquet this time, the other man doesn’t need to know.

It’s the third time they meet that the flirting starts. It may not be the best idea to flirt with a customer, but it’s certainly never  _lost_  Mack business. He starts slow with a smile, leading Fitz towards the flowers that broadcast Mack’s interest loud and clear: Jonquil for desire, jasmine for attraction, sweet pea for pleasure and appreciation, orchid for admiration. In the end, Fitz decides to go with purple orchid, and Mack is careful to wrap it up with a blue ribbon (the perfect shade of blue to match Fitz’s eyes). Neither of them says anything about the ribbon, but Fitz stands at the door a little longer than could be considered normal just… smiling at Mack, and Mack can’t say a damned thing about it because the entire time he’s smiling back.

Over the next few months, Fitz drops in once a week for flowers, and he always asks Mack to help pick them out. He woes Fitz quietly with red roses and pink peonies, red tulips and white daisies… he wracks his brain for every romantic flower he can think of, throws in forget-me-nots for good measure, and he slowly gets to know the beautiful man who so quickly stole his affections.

The tenth time that Fitz comes into  _Alphonso’s_  he’s comes in during Mack’s lunch break, but it’s fine because he’s not looking for a bouquet. Instead, he asks Mack’s assistant Hunter to pass on his number along with a riotous, unruly bunch of flowers tied together with a rough-looking bow. When Hunter tells the story, Fitz left with a small smile on his face and a wave, but looking at the flowers Fitz left (sunflowers and carnations, asters and chrysanthemums, they all are symbolic of love and hope and patience), Mack knows that he really left with Mack’s heart.


	31. Prompt: Ski holiday

“Please promise me that we will never, ever,  _ever_  again go on holiday to ski, or sled, or anything else remotely cold.”

Despite the situation, Mack can’t help but laugh at that. He would give anything to wrap an arm around Fitz in comfort, but Donnie had made sure that wasn’t an option when he tied them up separately at opposite ends of the room.

“Y'know, Turbo, I am completely on board with that plan. Tropical drinks and sand as far as the eye can see.”

It’s dark in the room, what with the lack of windows, but Mack can make out the way that Fitz’s shoulders slump in the darkness. When Fitz speaks, he sounds incredibly tired.

“I should have known better, but here we are in the middle of Donnie’s trap… and now I don’t know what he’s capable of anymore.”


	32. Prompt: Horseback riding

It’s not often that they get to go away together, and Fitz can’t hold back the smug grin on his face as he struggles to hold onto the bottles of champagne, delicate glass flutes, and the ice bucket that he managed to sweet talk out of the hotel’s front desk clerk.

All it took was a flash of the ‘puppy eyes’, as Mack likes to call them, and a vague reference to a proposal. He could see the woman connecting the dots in her head, remembered the sweet smile she had thrown at the two of them as they checked in the other day… she was a nice person, and if she wanted to comp Fitz and Mack for some champagne over a proposal that wasn’t actually going to happen, Fitz wasn’t about to stop her. Just because they weren’t there yet didn’t mean it would never happen, and maybe that was worth celebrating in itself.

He distracts himself on the ride back up to the 14th floor by going back and forth on the morality of essentially manipulating free things from kind people. It’s not the first time that he’s done so, but it’s certainly the first time that Fitz has used his relationship with Mack for their advantage. It’s not that Fitz goes out looking for ways to get free things, he just happens to be very good at getting them.

At the end of the day, all Fitz wants to do is treat Mack the way that he deserves to be treated. With care, and love, and copious amounts of expensive champagne.

Of course, it’s only as Fitz rounds the corner from the elevator back towards their room that he realizes the error in his plans. He just doesn’t have enough hands to open the damn door.

Rather than struggle to get the card key out of his wallet, Fitz glances back down the hall before tapping the door with his forehead. He tries to keep his voice low enough to avoid bothering the other guests while being loud enough for Mack to hear. “Mack!  _Mack!_  Come open the door, I have a surprise for you.”

There’s a low, deep growl from inside that Fitz can’t quite make out, followed by a resounding crash.

“Mack?!”

There’s no answer from the other side. No grumbling, no heavy footsteps, just silence. It’s enough to have Fitz struggling for his key card. He registers a sharp crunch, but a broken champagne flute or two is nothing compared to the horrible scenarios that Fitz is imagining as he manages to undo the lock.

He’s frantic as he rushes into the room, dumping everything onto the loveseat before ducking down for the ICER that he had taped underneath the night before. With the safety off, Fitz cases the room before making his way to the bedroom, managing to remain quiet despite the panicked throb of his heart - it’s loud, probably loud enough to be heard across the room, and he  _knows_ how dangerous it is to let his anxiety rule him in a hostile situation… he knows better, but there’s also the realization that if someone has found them and incapacitated Mack, it’s only a matter of time before he’s in the same boat.

Carefully, Fitz stands in the doorway to the bedroom, quiet as can be while his eyes sweep the room. It’s only here that Fitz can hear the pained breathing over his own panic.

“Mack, are you alright?” Fitz knows that it’s too late for him if there’s someone else in the room, but he keeps his voice low all the same. “Are you hurt?  _Please,_  please answer me.”

There’s a moment of silence, and it’s enough to push Fitz over the edge, but then Mack’s groaning from the other side of the bed.

“Turbo, I’m gonna need some help getting up.”

The relief that Fitz feels to hear Mack’s voice, it’s all encompassing. It’s everything, and even though he’s still got the ICER clutched in his right hand, Fitz can’t fight the feeling that’s been growing that everything’s going to be fine.

At least, he wasn’t able to fight the feeling until he comes to the other side of the bed to find Mack laid out on his back with his face screwed up into a grimace of pain. Fitz doesn’t think twice, just throws the ICER to the bed before getting down onto his knees beside Mack, hands fluttering everywhere, trying to find the source of his injuries.

“Wh-what happened? I don’t see any blood, were you wounded? Should I call Coulson in?”

He plays through hundreds of scenarios in his head, each one worse than the last - internal bleeding, poisoning, perhaps even the five-point-palm exploding-heart-technique he saw in that one movie. Unlikely? Sure, but Fitz has never seen Mack so wounded that he can’t even struggle to his feet.

Mack, though… he’s hurt, and he’s laughing, and Fitz wants to slap him because this is  _serious_.

“Babe, calm down. My muscles seized up from the horseback riding we did yesterday, and I accidentally rolled my back. My back’s killing me now, but I just need some Icy Hot and maybe a massage.”

Fitz slaps him. Lightly of course, the man  _is_  in pain, but he slaps him. Once, twice, three times on the shoulder for good measure.

“Alphonso Mackenzie, you nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought you had been attacked… I was afraid that you had been hurt.”

He can see Mack’s eyes softening, can already hear the apology building up behind his teeth, but Fitz finds himself suddenly exhausted, and the last thing he wants is an apology. Rising to his feet, he holds out a hand to Mack, and waits for him to take it.

“C'mon then, Romeo. Let’s get you up and feeling better.”

Mack’s hand is warm, and calloused, and large. It’s  _everything_  because Mack’s alive. He’s alive, and he’s fine. Everything’s fine. There’s champagne, and Mack will feel better, and it’s all going to be fine.

It’s only later behind closed doors that Fitz allows the tears to fall.

It doesn’t make sense, and Fitz wants to scream that he’s so broken over something so small. Everything’s fine, and Mack’s alive.

It’s just… it’s all too easy to forget that they live dangerous lives. It’s so easy to ignore the fact that everything being fine isn’t their normal.

Sitting on the toilet, tears streaming down, Fitz can’t help but lose himself to the realization that one day they won’t be so lucky.


	33. Prompt: Showering together

Hot water pounds down from overhead, and Fitz can’t help but melt into Mack’s arms as they wrap around him from behind.

Lately, it’s been difficult in The Playground. Stressful.

It’s been hard to feel much like a person, let alone trying to remember to be kind. As Mack’s fingers work foamy lather over Fitz’s chest, Fitz can’t keep the whine that builds in his throat from bubbling over because he knows he hasn’t been kind to Mack at all.

He’s been rude, short-tempered, and hurtful. It would be easy to blame his poor attitude and lack of empathy on the stress, but he learned long ago not to accept empty explanations - not from others, and not from himself.

At the core of it all, Fitz has been hurting Mack because it’s been easy.

It’s too easy to throw Mack’s past betrayals into the other man’s face, and it’s become nearly reflex at this point to roll his eyes for the rest of the team’s benefit when Mack asks questions - good, intelligent questions - that leave Fitz pressured to answer.

Fitz hasn’t been kind, and it’s enough to have him want to scream and shout and weep because Mack loves him so. Mack loves him enough to comfort him at night when he’s ensnared in nightmares. Mack loves him enough to stand by him even when Fitz gets snippy… he loves him enough to pull him close as the showerhead rains hot water upon them.

Mack’s hands trail up and down Fitz’s sides reverently before sliding back to slowly start massaging the kinks from his shoulders.

It’s… it’s more than Fitz deserves, and he knows that. Lying beside Mack at night, watching him sleep, there are times that Fitz is convinced that Mack knows it too. Tears prick at the corners of Fitz’s eyes, and he’s  _so_  thankful that any tears that fall will be masked by the shower. He can hide it. He can cope on his own. He doesn’t need anyone else… it’s only a matter of time before Mack leaves him, and Fitz is going to be prepared. Fitz is going to be fine. He’s going to-

“Baby, I need you to let me in.” Mack’s voice is rough, as if  _he’s_  the one that’s been crying. Fitz doesn’t have the strength to turn around… to find out if that is the case. Instead, he melts further into Mack’s fingers and closes his eyes tight. “I know that it’s been difficult lately, but I need you to know that I’m not leaving. I’m here until you tell me you want me gone.”

Tears work their way down his cheeks despite the way Fitz has his eyes screwed shut. He doesn’t trust his voice… doesn’t trust himself not to lash out at Mack when all he really wants to do is believe. Behind him, Mack sighs and his fingers come to a standstill, perched delicately along the line of Fitz’s shoulders.

“I know that you could do better than me… I’ve kept things from you in the past, and you’re so young - you could have anyone. God knows that I’m no match for your brains… there are probably a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t work, Turbo… but I can’t do anything to make it better if you don’t let me in enough to tell me what I’ve been doing wrong.”

It’s like the air’s been ripped from Fitz’s lungs at Mack’s words because he’s wrong. Turning around, Fitz grounds himself by leaning against Mack’s broad, wet chest, fingers clenching uselessly before catching hold of Mack’s hips.

“It’s not you.”

Mack chuckles at that, but it’s heavy and tinged with sadness. “Yeah, Turbo. I’ve heard that before. Let me guess, it’s not me - it’s you, right?”

“Right.” At Fitz’s confirmation, Mack starts to pull away, and Fitz just doesn’t have it in him to be ashamed of the way he clutches at the other man to keep him from leaving. “It’s  _me_ … you’ve apologized for Gonzalez, for lying… you’ve spent far too long doing penance for something I honestly would have done myself if in your position. I just… I’m not a kind man, Mack. It’s difficult to remember how to be kind when the easiest thing would be to just separate myself entirely. I would do anything to make it easier on myself when you leave me.”

Fitz is crying again, and his body aches from how exposed he’s leaving his heart right now. This was all supposed to be easier. All of it. He’s pulled out from his thoughts when Mack places a hand gently over Fitz’s heart. When Fitz risks a glance up, Mack’s eyes are downward, tracing the movement of his hand.

“You’re probably the kindest person that I know, Fitz… but you’ve been hurt. I get that, I do. I just don’t know how to convince you that I’m not leaving. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time, long before everything went to shit with Gonzalez… long before you ever indicated that you wanted me back, and that won’t change. I can be kind enough for the both of us because I’m not going anywhere.”

Later, long after they have toweled off and climbed under their covers, Fitz will do his best to take solace in the comforting warmth of Mack pressed behind him. Here in their bed, it’s the most at home Fitz has ever felt - more than the Academy ever was, more than the Playground itself. It’s only in Mack’s arms that he feels safe.

He can feel his body slip into unconsciousness, breathing matched to the steady rhythm Mack sets behind him. There’s still more to talk about between them, but for the first time in a long while Fitz falls asleep with a smile on his face.

He’s going to be kind.


End file.
